80 Best Train Puns That Are Rail-ly Funny


Train puns have a unique way of taking us back to our childhood and its memories. We see children everywhere around the world who are interested in train rides.

Train rides are more fun and beautiful if you share some train puns with your friends and family who are travelling with you. There is something in train rides that not only fascinates children but adults too.

Back in the day when trains were run by steam engines, everyone used to love travelling in them. Train puns will tell you about different types of trains and all the fun related to them.

We have categorized all the best train puns for you to read from. You can read them to your children as well and they will surely love them. Have a look!

Best Train Puns

Check out the best train puns of all times. Train play on words is a game that everyone loves, especially children. You can read below all the train puns and select the best ones for yourself below.

1. You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

2. Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down? Because it has a tender behind.

3. I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.

4. What do you call a person that’s sexually attracted to trains? A tramsexual.

5. Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.

6. What would you call an electric train in Japan? A Pikachu-chu.

7. It must be really easy being a train engineer. All you have to do is stay on track.

8. Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.

9. And of course… How would you work out how heavy a whale is? You would take it to a whale weigh station….

10. Why was the duck fired from the train station? He was a bad conducktor!

11. Are you a train? because I want you to run over me.

Funny Train Puns

Adding a little bit of humor to everything can light up your life and have a positive impact on yourself. If you are looking for some funny train puns then you should read below.

1. When a train is tired, it is called a slowcomotive.

2. What do you call a locomotive that keeps sneezing? Achoo choo train.

3. If 1+1=2 and 2+0=2, what does Train+Whistle equal? Two too!

4. Did you hear about that guy who got run over by a steam train? He was chuffed to bits

5. I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.

6. Never going drinking with Train drivers again. All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’

7. I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face. He was behind The Times.

8. A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train. When a train ran over its tail the monkey said, “It won’t be long now!”

9. I got into a fight with my Mexican neighbor and he started to make train noises while holding a gun. He said “I’m going to choo choo”

10. I think my puppy might be a train… all she does is chew, chew, chew.

11. What do you call someone who looks just like you on a passing train? A Dopplerganger.

12. How does a train eat human food? He choo it.

13. Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom? It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!

Hilarious Train Puns

There hilarious train puns will make you laugh out loud. If you are going on a train ride, then you must read these hilarious train puns and share with your friends and family.

1. It’s always great working with a train conductor. They’re always ready to take one for the steam.

2. I hate train puns. They eventually run off the rails.

3. Did you hear about the man who took the 6 o’clock train home? The police made him give it back.

4. When the train engineer decided he wanted to run for office, he put the development of railways for the blind as his main priority.

5. Why did the man rob the train? I’m not sure, but I bet he had a loco motive.

6. What’s the best way to get Pikachu onto a train? Pokemon.

7. The conductor was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.

8. How does one train hear another train coming? With its engine ears.

9. I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod. I guess I’m just a bad conductor.

10. Did you hear about the new trains drivers first run? It went off without a hitch

Train Puns One-Liners

One-liners are always more catchy and appealing than those long puns. For this reason, we have gathered all the best train puns one-liners. Look below for the list of puns related to train. You will have a good time reading.

1. When our journey was cancelled, all our plans went down the train.

2. A train can only think about one thing at a time, it has a one-track mind.

3. An express train is just a press train that has lost its job.

4. Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning.

5. I finally figured out why you always try to drive me crazy. You have a locomotive.

6. I’ve always been a big fan of a funny one-liner. I guess that’s why I like monorails so much!

7. Train drivers are quite clever and known for their engine-uity.

8. I always like chewing gum on the train. Unlike teachers, locomotives always tell you to choo choo.

9. I had a friend who quit his gig as a newspaper reporter and took a train out of town. The ex-press trains.

10. The train company had safety issues for years but were always able to cover their tracks.

Short Train Puns

If you are tired of reading those long and boring train puns, then take a look at these short train puns and use them as captions below your social media pictures and status.

1. When you’re on a long train journey, relax and listen to music.

2. Every day, everywhere. Here to take the best train ride of your life.

3. How can you tell a train just went by? You can see its tracks!

4. How does a train avoid detection? It covers its tracks.

5. It’s a freight day to go for a ride on a train.

6. What do you call a sick locomotive? A train with a coal-d.

7. Wow, you really have to hand it to ticket inspectors…

8. Where does breakfast cereal ride on a train? In the box-top box car.

9. How do you make the locomotive Olympics? Train really hard.

10. Why can’t train engineers get electrocuted? They’re not the conductor.

Train Puns about Railway

Most people love going to the railway even if they have a train to catch or not. Railways are always romantic and fun. Take a look at these railway puns to cherish some memories.

1. A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.

2. Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.

3. If you’re a hunter, you’ve got to make sure you’re not following train tracks!

4. I tried to get a job as a railway conductor, but they didn’t think I had enough training.

5. If you spend too much time walking on railroad tracks it might leave you feeling run down.

6. I was able to pick up a few railway buffers for cheap the other day. I took advantage of an end-of-the-line sale.

7. A railroad conductor needs to make sure he doesn’t go down the wrong track and lose his train of thought.

8. Railroad workers aren’t what they used to be. I remember in the good old days all the conductors were a little loco and full of self e-steam.

9. Railroad workers need to be sure they always keep their train of thought, or else they might go down the wrong track and get someone hurt.

10. Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.

11. Another train ride? You’re just asking for travel!

12. The best time to buy trains is at the end of line sale.

Train Puns about Driver

Train drivers are of different types. Some are good looking, others just old and grumpy. Here are some train driver puns that you can use to describe the kind of train driver you have.

1. You won’t find anyone more focused than a train driver: they have tunnel vision.

2. The train driver got promoted: it really was a tram-endous opportunity.

3. How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver? Ask them to pronounce “unionised”.

4. The train driver loves attention – he loves knowing he’s the train event at the party.

5. The train driver is a cunning man; he’s always got a track up his sleeve.

6. What did the train driver say when he decided to get over his drug addiction? I need to get my life back on track

7. I’ve always wanted to be a train driver. It seems pretty straightforward.

8. The driver has never missed a single day of work, he’s always there, come train or shine.

9. Train drivers are really scary when they get angry; you’ve got to be careful not to yank their train.

10. Even a train driver needs a brake once in a while, to let off some steam.

11. The train driver has too much work; he bit off more than he can chew chew.

12. The locomotive driver can never get into trouble: he has a get out of rail free card.

13. You’ll never catch a train driver apologizing: sorry steams to be the hardest work.

14. The train driver got married to his partner: they are united in holy matramony.

15. I wanted to ask the train driver a question, but in the end, I was too a freight to ask.

Train Puns for Instagram

If you have a beautiful picture of yourself in a train and you want to post it on your Instagram. You should read all our train puns captions for Instagram to select a perfect caption for your train picture.

1. Driving trains is harder than it steams!

2. Trains never get angry cuz they’re always blowing off steam!

3. Train derails in New Mexico, killing 23 people. It must have had a locomotive.

4. I received a compliment today as I boarded the train. The conductor said “first class rear, standard front”.

5. Let’s go for a train ride, it’s a freight day for it!

6. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins. I thought “That’s a turtle disaster”.

7. I wanted to crack a joke on trains. I could not EXPRESS it well thinks, I’ll need a COACH.

8. Everyone seems to have a crush on the train conductor. They’re quite at-track-tive.

9. We ended up canceling our trip because all of our plans went down the train.

Final Thoughts on Train Puns

Most of these train puns will help you keep on the track of life. They not only describe the train itself but give a deeper meaning to life as well.

Railway or train puns will keep you busy will you’re on a train ride. These train puns have a lot to tell about different features of a train such as their steam, their sitting order and much more.

At times you meet you someone in a train and they become your life-long friend. There train puns will also remind you of such friends and the great time you spent in that train.

Being a train driver is not an easy job. It requires a lot of determination to be a train driver. If you went through our driver train puns, you will realize the efforts of a train driver.

Some drivers are more experienced than other drivers but each one of them have their charm. Enjoy reading all the train puns!

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