86 Funniest Spider Puns You Could Ever Find on the Web


We’re delighted to welcome you to our fantastic collection of spider puns. Listen, we get that when someone asks what your favorite animal is, spiders may not be the first thing that comes to mind.

But give these creepy crawlers a chance; if you give them a chance, they’re actually pretty cool. Plus, they’re numerous (there are 38,000 species on every continent except Antarctica), so it’s definitely better to be courteous.

Is there any other way to look at spiders and to enjoy the sheer hilarity of arachnids? Yes, we have spider puns to illustrate that these eight-legers are hilarious.

We’ve compiled a list of spider puns that will have you and your kids laughing for hours. After reading this list of spider puns, we think you’ll agree that arachnids are the funniest animal of all.

Best Spider Puns

Because spiders have such a terrible appearance, many of us are afraid of them. They frequently react to them by fleeing or attempting to kill them. But, in reality, these organisms are far more harmless than we believe. That’s why we’ve put up a collection of the best spider puns to help you overcome your fear and have a good time. Check out this list of spider play on words.

1. Where do spiders play football? At Webley Stadium!

2. What do you call the place where spiders meet? A website!

3. What does a spider do when he feels sick? He looks up his symptoms on WebMD.

4. A spider tried to explain to his wife why he was so late, but she insisted he was only spinning her a yarn. 

5. What do you call a hundred spiders on a tyre? A spinning wheel!

6. Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!

7. What do you get when you cross a tarantula and a tiger? I don’t know, but I don’t want to stick around to find out!

8. Why are spiders like tops? Because they are always spinning!

9. What part of a computer does a spider use? The webcam!

10. I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe. I don’t care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoes!

11. I killed a spider with a pair of flip-flops. He looked so silly; they were way too big for him!

12. How do you grow a spider? With soda and ice-cream!

13. Why should you never leave the house when it is raining spiders? Because you could get caught in a bad tarantula downpour!

14. I was a bit shook when a little spider crawled on top of my keyboard, but I got it under ctrl quickly. 

Funny Spider Puns

With these funny spider puns, we hope to have soothed your phobia of spiders while spinning with laughter. Even if it’s about spiders, there’s nothing like a good laugh to bring a smile to your face at any time of day.

1. How tall is a spider? 8 feet!

2. What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies!

3. What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!

4. How could the big tarantula find his partner online? He spider on the world wide web!

5. What’s red and dangerous? Strawberry and tarantula jelly!

6. What did the spider say when he broke his new web? Darn it!

7. What do you get when you cross a spider with an eyeball? A website!

8. I saw a gigantic spider in my room earlier. I named him Cotton Eye Joe, because I only wanted to know two things; where did he come from, and where did he go?

9. A shark, a crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar. Another normal day in Australia!

10. I felt so guilty after I stepped on a spider this morning. You should’ve seen him; he looked crushed.

11. I told my teenage daughter to go get me an encyclopedia. She just laughed at me and said, “You’re so old Dad, just use my phone instead.” So I threw her phone against the wall to kill the spider!

12. What does a spider do when he has a bit of spare time to kill? He goes fly fishing!

Hilarious Spider Puns

Our spider humor isn’t really over yet. In fact, we’ve compiled a list of them for you to explore below. To add a little extra laughter to your day, check out these few hilarious spider puns:

1. What does Spiderman do on his day off? He surfs the world wide web!

2. What do you call two recently married spiders? Newlywebs!

3. What’s the difference between a spider and a web designer? A spider loves finding bugs in his web!

4. What do you get when you cross a tarantula and a rose? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try smelling it!

5. What are spider webs good for? Haunted houses!

6. Why are spiders good swimmers? They have webbed feet!

7. What does a spider do inside your ear? It makes your head spin!

8. Finding a spider at home isn’t the scary part. The scary part is when it’s gone!

9. How do you spot a modern spider? He doesn’t have a web, he has a website!

10. What do you call a big irish spider? Paddy long legs!

11. I saw a spider in my daughter’s shoes this morning. But they didn’t fit him at all!

12. I considered buying an exotic spider from the nearby pet store. But my friend told me to just get what I wanted on the web.

13. My wife is so scared of spiders that she will leave our house if she sees one. There is one in our kitchen corner, and I’ve been living alone for the past three days now. 

14. If you want to find out the sex of a spider, drop it from a building. If she falls, then your spider is a girl. If he falls, then your spider is a boy. Simple, right?

15. My son laughed at me when I asked him for a phone book, telling me I was so old and to just use his cell phone. He wasn’t laughing when I used his phone to kill a spider on the floor!

Spider Puns One Liners

Spider webs might have hundreds of lines, but the punchline in these spider one liners just requires one. You’re guaranteed to find more than one humorous spider pun on the internet. We’ve compiled a list of puns related to spider here.

1. What do you call an undercover arachnid? A spy-der!

2. What do you call a spider that can dance? A jitterbug!

3. Why are spiders bad at driving? Because they always spin out!

4. I just bought a new pair of trousers made from spider silk. They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.

5. My friend asked me to tell her some great spider jokes. I told her to look them up on the web.

6. A spider just crawled onto my keyboard. Don’t worry, it’s under ctrl.

7. A spider just got called up to the England cricket team. I’ve heard he’s a great spinner!

8. A couple of my friends have opened their door and been slapped by a loud, obnoxious spider. Looks like there’s a nasty bug going around!

9. A young boy asked his dad for a pet spider for his birthday. The dad went to the pet shop to find out more about the creepy crawlies.

10. What do you call a piece of gold who is afraid of the spiders? A chicken nugget.

11. Why did the spider buy a car? He wanted to go for a spin!

12. What is Iraqnophobia? The fear of middle-eastern spiders. 

Clever Spider Puns

We’ve come up with some clever spider puns for you to enjoy. These spider puns will help you to forget how frightening spiders can be and how funny they are. Take a look at the following:

1. What kind of doctors are like spiders? Spin doctors!

2. What would happen if spiders were as large as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

3. I asked my friend if he knew what spiders ate. He didn’t know, and told me to go look it up on the web.

4. Why do people dislike spiders? Because spiders dislike people!

5. How can you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site.

6. How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web!

7. Why does a spider spin a web? Because they don’t know how to knit or crochet!

8. What would you call a tarantula that works at the police force undercover? A spy-der.

9. Pet spiders are very expensive at our local pet shops, so I got one from the web instead.

Cute Spider Puns

We’ve gathered a few of cute spider puns for you to enjoy to help calm your concerns of spiders and add some laughter to your day. Continue reading to start creeping and slithering into our spider puns right away!

1. What’s a spider’s favourite hobby? Fly fishing!

2. What did the spider say to the fly? Pleased to eat you!

3. Did you hear about the spider love triangle? It was a tangled web!

4. I tried killing a spider with hairspray. It may still be alive, but its hair looks amazing.

5. What makes a spider laugh? A spider comedian.

6. Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.

7. What does a spider’s bride wear? A webbing dress.

8. A spider was dining in beautiful Paris with his girlfriend. They enjoyed French fries together. 

Spider Puns for Halloween

In this section, we have plucked some best Halloween spider puns that are both funny and wiggly for Halloween. It is a fun selection of spider puns and spider humor for kids! Dive in!

1. What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween? The web is the trick and you are the Treat!

2. Why are spiders happy it’s Halloween? Because they become cool for the day!

3. Why is a spider sad when Halloween is over? Killing season starts again!

4. Why do spiders like living in haunted houses? Because ghosts can’t destroy their webs!

Spider Puns for Kids

Use the snazziest spider puns for kids you can discover on the internet right here to creep up on the cool kids! Keep going, man and explore these good spider puns.

1. Why did the spider kid get told off by his mum? Because he was spending too much time on the web!

2. Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spider!

3. What did the spider say to the bug? Pleased to eat you!

4. What do you get when you cross a spider and an ear of corn? Cobwebs!

5. Where did the spider learn how to make a Mother’s Day gift? On the web.

6. Why are spiders great tennis players? Cause they have great topspin.

7. Why did the spider go on the internet? To make a Webpage.

8. What do spiders eat for lunch? Web wrap flies!

9. Why are spiders like kid’s toy tops? They are always spinning!

10. What is red, black and dangerous? Red back spider!

11. What do spiders do when they get mad? They climb the walls.

12. What do spiders do with the excess flies they catch? They make a side living selling them on the web.

Final Thoughts on Spider Puns

We hope you like this collection of spider puns. It was a lot of fun for us to make them, and we’re glad we get to share them with you (such an honor). Some people adore them, while others hate them, but we can all agree that spiders are amusing!

The eight-legged creepy crawlies are fantastic fodder for jokes. You’ve done the proper thing by looking up hilarious spider puns on the internet if you’re seeking for them.

After reading these amusing spider puns and spider web puns, you could have a new perspective on spiders. If the real thing still gives you the creeps, try building your own spiders out of pipe cleaners.

Please email us any humorous spider puns that you believe we should include on the list! We’ll go over them with a fine-tooth comb to check whether they fit our quality and humor requirements, but if they do, they’ll be added without hesitation.

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