80 Hilarious Neck Puns to Make You Laugh

neck-puns

If you’re unfamiliar with neck puns, let us first explain what they are. Neck jokes are jokes about one of our bodily parts, which is, of course, the neck.

Another question that may appear in your thoughts is whether or not people are interested in neck gags. Yes, the answer is yes. You might be astonished that nearly 6 out of 10 individuals look for neck puns every month.

There can be a lot of questions in your head about these neck jokes. They could ask whether there’s any way for others to make jokes about our necks.

We’ll address this question with a fantastic selection of neck puns that you may use at any event or meetup to make your buddies laugh punlessly.

Best Neck Puns

You may simply locate a neck play on words or possibly the finest ones. What about the jokes, though? One of the examples of best neck puns is Clowns have painful necks every morning. This is because they sleep funny.

1. Why did the clown have a sore neck? He slept funny.

2. Why does a giraffe need such a long neck? Because its head is so far away from its body.

3. What’s the difference between a child and a book? One doesn’t scream when you snap its neck.

4. It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago. But now I can look back and laugh.

5. What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.

6. Why do giraffes have long necks? Because they have smelly feet!

7. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

8. what do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food? the worst shits you’ll ever see.

9. What do you do when an orphan gets you mad? A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

10. How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are necked.

11. I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead. I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

12. Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat. I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.

Funny Neck Puns

You might have succeeded in producing neck jokes, but are they genuinely funny? To dispel your concern, we selected one of the instances of funny neck puns. Vampires are fierce competitors. They will always be neck and neck.

1. Chap goes to the doctor and says “it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest”. The doctor says, “you’ve broken your finger”.

2. Saw a vampire sprint race the other day. It finished neck and neck.

3. Thought I’d called the Dalai Lama the other day and got sent a goat with an odd neck. Turned out I’d called Dial-A-Llama.

4. And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to… It’s a tie!

5. My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

6. Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

7. What’s the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? One has Functioning neck.

8. What do Satan and a priest have in common? They both want Anthony’s neck.

9. What do you ask a lawyer buried alive up to his neck in sand? “Run out of sand, did they?”

10. Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.

Hilarious Neck Puns

We all need some amazing jokes for those occasions when we’re stuck in a crowd and don’t know what to say. You can break the ice by making hilarious neck puns. A multi-layered individual, for example, has a double neck.

1. I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere nearby.

2. Someone told me they were going to hit me with the neck of a guitar. I asked, “is that a fret?”

3. Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space. 

4. To ward off vampires you must always sleep with one eye open and your hands covering your neck.

5. There is no chance of someone waking up with a sore neck if the coffin has a soft pillow.

6. I wasn’t sure about this rash on my neck at first… but it’s starting to grow on me.

7. What goes Snap Crackle and Pop? A neck.

8. How do you save your wife from drowning? Take your foot off of her neck.

9. What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

10. What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!

11. Days ago, i learned how to crack neck. The sound and feeling are really satisfying. Although the bodies are starting to pile up.

12. I met conjoined twins and I’m not sure which one I like more.

They’re neck and neck.

Neck Puns One Liners

To keep things simple, short, and hilarious, employ neck one liners. From the list of puns related to neck, we found a fantastic one. And the prize for the year’s best neckwear goes to… It’s a tie!

1. Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads around his neck. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.

2. A dictator complained fiercely about the neck wear he received. What a tie rant.

3. A friend of mine bet on a horse called polo neck. He heard he was a great jumper.

4. I saw the Miami Sound Machine recently and one of them had a blue & whit scarf around their neck. Must have been Gloria Leicesterfan.

5. Did you know, curing boredom is quite simple. For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

6. You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck.”

7. Your mama is so fat when i think her in my head she just broke my neck.

8. Why can’t George Floyd breathe? he had a knee on his neck stupid.

9. When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.

10. when you say i wish i could cut of these bumps on my neck. (Your mom walking to you with a knife)

Neck Puns Captions

People that enjoy detailed jokes can be found. “Why did DMX freak out when he put on a crew neck sweater for the first time?” is a hilarious neck pun that you can use as captions.

1. My procedure saved my life, and my neck is permanently locked. I will never look back.

2. I cannot figure out why everyone went crazy on the bus just because I gave a perfect stranger a romantic gesture by kissing her on the neck. I am sure her slapping me meant she thought I was sweet.

3. There is no cure for reptile dysfunction. Turtles who suffer with this will never get their necks out of their own shell.

4. Never gamble on a giraffe race. Just when you think you are winning by a neck, you lose by one.

5. Call it a tie if there is an award for the best neck wear of the year.

6. What do you call a woman who repairs your neck and is really good looking? A head turner.

7. The main thing about horses that I love is the beautiful hair that runs across their neck.

8. A giraffe is a chance to win a spotted, long-necked pet.

9. What do you call a basketball team full of giraffes? The New York Necks

10. Now that men with neck tattoos make me lattes, I am not afraid of them anymore.

11. Vampires are extremely competitive. They will always finish neck and neck.

Neck Puns for Instagram

Neck puns are great for making others laugh and giving the impression that you may have a strong sense of humor. Wife: I appear to be overweight. Could you perhaps offer me a compliment? Husband: You have great vision.

1. A multi-layered person has a double neck.

2. It is funny, I have not looked back once since I got this neck brace.

3. Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work

4. If you agree to a beard growing contest, you will find you and your competition neck and neck.

5. I’ve snapped a bunch of necks Being a necklace photographer isn’t too bad

6. You will never look back if you have your neck infused.

7. How do red necks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin.

8. Kissing my girlfriends neck makes me a neck romancer.

9. What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt? Afroturf.

10. Why don’t Islamic women make good gardeners? They’re always up to their necks in dirt.

11. Why do zombies love necks? They were made by a neck romancer.

12. What do you call someone who really loves necks? A necromancer.

Neck Puns about Pain

Have you ever heard of someone with a cracked neck? People made fun of it as well. “Why did the Vampire’s girlfriend break up with him” is one of the examples of neck pain puns? He was a pain in the neck!

1. The reason that Dracula has no friends is because he’s a pain in the neck.

2. Looking back, my neck hurts.

3. I wasn’t much fun last year having a broken neck… but at least now I can look back and laugh…

4. What do you call a non-fiction vampire? A real pain in the neck.

5. I recently bumped into a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf. He said it was a real pain in the neck.

6. That neck pain changed my life. I never looked back from then.

7. Why did the Vampire’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he was pain in the neck!

8. I told my wife I woke with a pain in my neck. She said ‘So did I!’

9. I hate having a sore throat… it’s a real pain in the neck.

10. After years of pain I finally had surgery on my neck… I haven’t looked back since!

11. When someone calls you a pain in the neck… they really mean you’re a pain in the assophagus.

12. I got into this huge fight with my chiropractor half way through my neck massage. Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.

13. The French revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders.

Final Thoughts on Neck Puns

If you can come up with the appropriate ones, neck puns can be funny. People look for neck gags to amuse themselves or others.

The rationale for making neck jokes is that there are numerous instances or events involving our neck. For example, a cracked neck, a giraffe’s neck, and maybe a vampire’s neck.

Printing the most amusing neck puns on neckwear is a terrific hack that may be a bit more enjoyable. Isn’t it a brilliant idea?

We hope you enjoyed the above neck puns and jokes as much as we loved crafting them. This was a topic that caught us off guard at first, but glad we spent time on it now!

Many of you may have assumed that jokes on this subject would be scarce. However, guess what? We bought a large assortment of neck puns in a range of categories for you to share with your friends and family.

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