89 Hilarious Chess Puns Surely to Make You Laugh

chess puns

Chess puns are for intelligent people. Chess is a mental sport and requires human intelligence, and same goes with puns. Both chess and puns have one thing in common, the ability to think on the spot.

Chess puns are for intelligent people to make and for even sharp minds to understand.

Puns are used to make people laugh. The game of chess has been in this world for a while, people think of it as boring and dry. But these funny chess puns will make your boring game of chess filled with pun-ny humor.

If you are about to play a game of chess, these funny puns with their distinct humor will give you comic relief during a tough game. They are actually funny, read on!

Best Chess Puns

These category holds for you, the best chess puns. So play the chess game on board and chess play on words at the same time. These puns will make you and your partner enjoy the game.

1. Why did Michel Jackson say to his opponent in chess? It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.

2. When Alexander was asked what his favorite board game was, he said, “Alekhine think of is chess.”

3. Did it ever occur to Magnus Carlsen that he could be eliminated from his own chess tournament? Norway!

4. Why can’t you play chess in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs.

5. Which group of women are the best chess players? Feminists. Their opponents begin with King and Queen, but ‘they’ always start with 2 Queens.

6. Why can´t administrative officers win at chess? Because they can’t stop to watch the clock.

7. Why did the chess player bring a baseball bat to his game? Just in case he needed a Squeeze play.

8. Why did the chess player bring pencils and a sketch pad to the game? In case there was a draw.

9. Why was the chess board so wet? The queen has reigned for years.

10. Why did the pirates raid the tournament? They were looking for a treasure chess.

Funny Chess Puns

This category has funny chess puns for you and your chess game partner to have a good time while playing this mind startling game. Relax your mind with these puns.

1. A funny name for a chess player character who is also very good at playing checkers is Ingrid.

2. A team of chess players talking about their wins in a hotel lobby should be called chess nuts boasting in an open foyer instead.

3. A chess champion is also good at dancing and karate because he has some good moves.

4. Q: What was the dog doing at the chess match? A: Just paw’n.

5. My wife said that I should stop online chess or else… Or else what? “Can I sleep in your basement for this week?”

6. A man in Africa was recently arrested for shooting at a huge chess set. Those big game hunters are nothing but trouble.

7. If Bobby had written a Holy book on chess, it would contain the words “Please follow me, and I’ll make you a Fischer of men.”

8. What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems? En pissant.

9. Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes? In a chesst.

10. The young apprentice went to his master and asked him: “Which is the best game made by man?”. The old master though a little bit and said: “It’s chess I guess, isn’t it?”. “What about Go?” came the next question instantly. “Aah, Go was already there!”

11. Two friends meet by the street: F1 – My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, she will take the children and leave me. F2 – So, what is your plan for tomorrow? F1 – E4, as always!

12. How come cows do not play a game of chess? They cannot make any mooooooves.

13. What did the cow say to the owl when they were playing chess? The cow said: Moooooooo… The owl asked: who?

Hilarious Chess Puns

This category holds for you the most hilarious chess puns of all time! you will enjoy every bit of the game with these puns. So, crack these puns and laugh hard.

1. I am a bit medieval when it comes to playing chess because I always go to the castle.

2. When I first learned chess, I tried to make the first move with my castle. It was a common rook-ie error.

3. A game that is a combination of chess, ‘Battleships,’ and ‘Connect Four’ is called rook, line, and sinker.

4. Chess champions are also great at boxing because they pack a mean right rook!

5. Amongst all other chess pieces, my favorite is the rook because it is very straight-forward.

6. Q: What do you call chess players bragging in a hallway? A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

7. I beat the local chess champion in less than five moves. My karate lessons finally came in handy.

8. Why was the chess professional getting worried when she was finishing her meal at the restaurant? The waitress asked if she wanted the check.

9. When Paul was asked if he wanted to take the black or the white, he answered, “Who Keres? I will still win this.”

10. When Spongebob Squarepants plays chess, he only uses live prawns.

11. I left chess club early this week. I was just so board.

12. My doctor said that I needed to get into a sport 3 times a week for a month if I wanted to lose some weight. I think he’s a quack because I played chess all month and haven’t lost a single gram!

Chess Puns One Liners

We have a list of puns related to chess. These chess one liners will have you and your chess game partner rolling on the floor. Have a good time pun-ing each other.

1. Got a job working shifts as a piece in a 24-hour human chess game. I’m on knights this week.

2. I had dinner once with a Chess Grand Master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

3. Got a blank chess board. Check it out.

4. Spotted a bird playing chess. I thought, “toucan play that game”.

5. The major part of the brain that is used to play chess is the pons.

6. Bob Seger loves playing chess. He even wrote a song about ‘How the knight moves.’

7. When the King started telling a bedtime story to all the chess pieces, he said, “Once a pawn a time…”

8. When I was learning chess, I once tried to move my castle first. Bit of a rookie error.

9. Friend asked me if I fancied a game of chess next week. I said I’d check my diary. He doesn’t have a board.

10. Making a film about playing chess in a lift. The Dark Knight Rises.

11. You should never buy chess from a pawn shop.

12. When you have to move the horse in chess, you always have to take an L.

13. Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. Really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to take part, though.

14. Saw a game that’s a mix of chess, Connect Four and battleships. It’s called rook, line and sinker.

Short Chess Puns

This category has the best short chess puns for you. if you want to make the sharp minds laugh, use short but hilarious sentences. Enjoy the game and the puns.

1. Just getting something off my chess.

2. Chess players are always ready to mate!

3. Once up-pawn a time…

4. Chess players have checkered pasts.

5. I think I have time for a quick game of chess. Let me check.

6. I must have misplaced my queen after a chess game. I will need to check.

7. Miyazaki’s favorite chess piece is bound to be Howl’s Moving Castle.

8. The white bishop piece in a game of chess the fastest chess piece because it is on F1.

9. A chess champ’s favorite starter is a Pawn cocktail.

10. I played chess with a lumberjack and he beat me at the game. Well plaid.

11. How come chess players have many kids? They mate often.

12. I got my daughter a chess board for her birthday. She is gifted.

13. What is a chess player’s favorite drink? A pawn cocktail.

Dirty Chess Puns

What is a chess game without dirty chess puns? These puns are funny and dirty. Use these puns while playing chess with your friends or partner to have a good time.

1. Are you the queen? Because for the whole night I have been trying to take you down.

2. Babe you play chess? Let’s have a fun knight together.  

3. Babe, accept my gambit and we will have some fun variations tonight.   

4. Babe, I want to trap you in that little square. 

5. Get your queen ready because my knight is about to fork you.    

6. Girl, I cannot help but to push you back with my pawn.   

Chess Puns about Check Mate

Can you play a chess game without cracking check mate puns? The answer is, impossible. Check mate puns are like an obligation. Without them, the game of chess feels incomplete.

1. When my friend asked if all the pieces were there in the chess set I had sold him, I told him to check, mate.

2. When Australian chess players finish their meals in the restaurant, they say, “Cheque, mate.”

3. When I visited my old friend, who was also a chess champion, I had become the next champion as well. “All I did was check, mate,” I said to him.

4. I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess… But he saw right through it

5. What’s similarity between playing a chess and having a dinner in Australian restaurant? They both end with “Checkmate”.

6. I prayed to God to have the best chess skills in the world Checkmate atheists

7. Why do Australians suck at chess? Because they keep saying “checkmate” when the game’s not over.

8. When the Slovak chess player finally found a partner, he found a Czech mate.

9. My friend and I own a business selling chess sets. When we both have to ring people up at the register, he becomes my check mate.

10. When pirates beat another pirate in chess, they say, “Check matey!”

11. People from the Czech Republic are very bad at chess because they are Czech-made.

12. Chap asked me how I was going to pay for my new chess set.  I said, “cheque, mate”.

13. I recently saw an old friend again. He happens to be a chess champion. I asked him how he was doing. All I did was check on the mate.

Chess Puns Captions

Want to post a bougie chess board picture on Instagram? We have the best

chess puns captions for Instagram for you if you cannot think of one. Check out these pun-ny captions for an impressive social media feed.

1. Life is like chess… we can’t all be white.

2. Being the first to move in chess. It’s a white privilege.

3. The first rule of Alzheimers club, is don’t talk about chess club!

4. Life is a lot like chess: You’ve always got to be thinking two steps ahead, and most people want to be white.

5. I make conversation like I play chess. Plan 3 moves ahead then freak out when the other person doesn’t do what I planned for.

6. For me, chess is a lot like Tinder. I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions.

7. My wife and I do a lot of mating. I think we may have a chess addiction.

8. There’s a new Netflix show coming out about an obese chess player… “Dairy Queen’s Gambit”.

Final Thoughts on Chess Puns

Chess puns are all about your sharp sense of humor and your ability to catch the pun thrown at you, right on time. Make sure to involve humor in this mind boggling game.

Chess puns are funny and intelligent at the same time. The game of chess is even played at Olympics and other bigger tournaments because of its popularity. It is officially declared as a mental sport. It can prove to be good for your mental health too!

The above funny chess puns will help you make a good pun until your opposition laughs and lose the game. The funny pun ideas above will be by your side when you need to release tension from the game. So, try your best to make the game lighthearted and fun.

We had a lot of fun putting these chess puns together. So use these funny puns with your chess peers and win their hearts with your sense of humor before you win the game.

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