97 Funny Cactus Puns That’ll Crack You Up


Is there could be anything better when the cactus puns cannot prick you up but will crack you up definitely? Of course, not! A good joke does not harm you in any way.

This succulent is considered as the frugal survivors and it should be rightly so because it has existed on this planet since the fifteenth century, not just being the source of fiber to make woody goods but as a source of cactus puns as well.

Thus, when it comes to thorny plants there are a lot of cactus puns to pick from.

As these plants are simple to look after and could bestow a lot of beauty and charm to any room where they are in, cactus plants along with a few cactus puns can make an excellent gift for friends and family.

On to the puns, now!

Best Cactus Puns

Who on the earth does not enjoy a good joke? Everyone, obviously! If you are a person obsessed with succulents then go through the best cactus puns below because this list cannot get any better.

1. You can directly put colors on cacti. You just have to use a Sharpie.

2. I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

3. The cactus went to the restaurant one day. He ordered some desert at the end of his meal.

4. There was once a guy who took an art class that concentrated on cactus photography. He said it was a very pricky subject.

5. That cactus was not being nice as he was being a prick as usual.

6. I am not sure which cactus plant to get from the nursery. I suppose I just have to prick one out.

7. Did you know that I dropped my cactus the other day? The worst part about it is that I caught it.

8. Those prickly plants are really not all that cactus up to be.

9. What kind of doctor treats mental health issues in cacti? A doctor in spike-ology.

10. I pear to be different because I am the only one in my family that likes cacti plants.

11. What goes well in a cactus sandwich? Cheese and prickle!

12. The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

13. What’s the one job you should never give a cactus at your birthday party? Blowing up the balloons.

14. How can you differentiate a cactus from a Hummer? A cactus has got pricks on the external parts.

Funny Cactus Puns

Are you also looking for some funny cactus puns that could crack you up? Well, then stop right here because we have excavated as many cactus-related puns as we could, for your amusement. Take a look!

1. I once knew a cactus that lived on Sesame Street. I used to call it Prickle me Elmo.

2. I never really understood cacti, even when they taught us about it at school. I never really got the point of it.

3. All succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

4. There are a lot of intelligent cacti because cactus parents only know how to raise sharp kids.

5. How would you describe a cool cactus? One that is pretty fly for cacti.

6. What did the cactus say to the other who he was drawn to emotionally? ‘I am stuck on you.’

7. That cactus judged how dirty my home was and was being such a prick about it.

8. Watering plants is a big responsibility for busy people which means plant owners need to cactus what they preach so they feed their plants.

9. Do you have a different looking cacti plant? Oh cool, what desert look like?

10. I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

11. The cactus was going through a rough patch. His neighbor tried to brighten her up by saying, “Hey, things might be rough, but you are still blooming.”

12. What should you say if you bump into a cactus? “Ouch!”

Hilarious Cactus Puns

When succulents are in groups, they become a lot more selfish, which is presumably due to the fact that they change from Cact-i to Cact-us. If you need more jokes like these, get your hands on these hilarious cactus puns enlisted below.

1. I once had an enemy whose name was Cactus. He pulled aloe move on me that I could never forget.

2. There was a man who kept calling his wife Cactus every time he saw her, when actually her name was Vera. He said it was quicker than saying, “‘Allo Vera!” every time.

3. I have to take care of the new cactus plant I got as I would never desert it.

4. What did the cactus boyfriend say to his cactus girlfriend as he expressed gratitude for her being in his life? ‘I am so glad I pricked you’.

5. What did the cactus wife say to the cactus husband on their anniversary? ‘We make a prickly pear’.

6. My family tree is like a cactus because there is a prick on each branch.

7. I tried to find the cactus that I wanted at the nursery but couldn’t so now it is back to pear one.

8. I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

9. The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

10. The wife cactus was upset. The husband asked her what happened. She replied: “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

11. Did you hear about the cactus that went to the party? He spiked the drinks.

12. What do you call a rude cactus? A prick.

Cactus Puns One Liners

It’s ironic how the succulents are ‘The untouchables’ yet our lives would succ without these cactus puns one liners. Here is a list of puns related to cactus, choose your favorite prick out of all.

1. Whenever any cacti want to start a family they go to Plant Parenthood.

2. You’re lookin’ sharp.

3. The Hug-A-Cactus foundation is a strong organization since they deal with so many pricks.

4. The plant doctor is no longer around as he is out of cactus.

5. The way you are so critical of cacti is not just unfair but it is desprickable.

6. Be pearful how you approach a cacti plant.

7. A cactus-shaped dog is definitely a pear animal.

8. That cactus show was a truly brilliant pearformance.

9. That cactus movie had such a spiketacular ending.

10. I’m just here, pricking up the pieces!

11. We wish you a merry cactmus.

Cute Cactus Puns

Want some oh-so-cute cactus puns for your green cutesy plant? If yes, then keep the ball rolling as this page has got a handful of cactus love puns that will stick with you around every moment.

1. Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

2. Where do you get a cactus-shaped cupcake from? The desert shop.

3. He did not take care of my cacti plant when I was on vacation so we are not on spiking terms anymore.

4. Caring for many cacti plants in your home is a big re-spine-sibility.

5. I want to paint the best painting of a cactus around so I need some strong inspearation.

6. There is plant-y of time to find the best cactus plant for your home decor.

7. A naughty cactus is one that never keeps his plants down.

8. You and I make a real prickly pear!

9. Baby cacti are so cute, they are just so spiny!

10. Welcome, please feel free to stick around!

11. The cactus couple love their new apartment. They’re happy occuplants.

Dirty Cactus Puns

Some dirty jokes are only worthy of groans and eye rolls. However, they still manage to be very funny. Thus, here is a list of a few dirty cactus puns to share it with your friends, and be ready for some amazing responses.

1. What do cactus lovers say to one another when they are having an intimate time together? ‘You prickle my fancy’.

3. There is a problem with the cactus I am growing, but I cannot put my finger on it.

4. You did not care for my cacti plant when I was gone so I have a bone to prick with you.

5. Being poked by multiple cacti is a real prickarious situation.

6. Catci plants can come in different sharps and sizes.

7. Getting pricked by a cactus is what released all of my plant up rage as that is when I lost it.

8. I’m so glad we pricked each other.

9. I’m feeling so thorny tonight.

10. Kiss my cactass!

11. What is a potted cactus which has developed in the shape of a typical penis called? A dildon’t.

Cactus Puns for Friends

We came into a slew of bizarre little descriptive cactus-themed puns that have little to do with anything other than using puns to explain away moods. Share these cactus puns for friends to cheer them up, it would be a success even if brings a smile to their faces.

1. I love cacti plants as life would succ without them.

2. How do you wish a cactus a ‘happy birthday?’. Happy Birthday. I hope it is on point.

3. What does a man cactus have to wear when he dresses professionally? Cacti.

4. Not getting poked by cacti in the desert is a challenge so you must run away from them prickly to avoid it.

5. Spike of the devil, that cactus plant we were talking about is right here.

6. Having an embellished cactus plant is interesting as I never have heard of having so many bells and bristles.

7. Best friends stick together like a cactus thorn in the flesh.

8. A cactus once accidentally broke the favorite tub of another cactus. So the second cactus came to him and said, “Hey, I have a bone to prick with you.”

9. The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

10. Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, “I tried talking to him, but it’s like banging my head against a prick wall.”

Cactus Puns for Teachers

Seeking some cactus puns to amaze your science teacher? Then you don’t have to search anymore as this hub has got your back with all the amazing cactus puns for teachers to change the vibe of the classroom.

1. What is the difference between the teacher’s lounge and a cactus? The teacher’s lounge has pricks on the inside.

2. You said you wanted cactus plant A over cactus plant B for superficial reasons. You can’t be so prickly about it.

3. The little cactus was worried about being bad at math. Her teacher tried to encourage her by saying, “Don’t worry. Keep trying. Cactus makes perfect.”

4. Don’t be a prick. Get to the point.

5. How did the cactus know all the answers to the test? He was a sharp guy.

Cactus Puns for Instagram

While these cactus jokes revolve around the same play on words, there could be no problem in coming up with your cactus puns for Instagram. Check out these cactus puns below and take an idea to invent cacti puns on your own.

1. You prickle my fancy.

2. What do the Kardashians and cactus have in common? They have pricks.

3. You can never trust the idea of going on a date with a cactus as they will spike your drink.

4. Parents of young kids should not have cacti plants in their home as it is not very prick-tical.

5. Why do you keep wondering about why the cactus plant did not last for very long? It is unfortunate but not worth spike-ulating over.

6. The lightening never spikes twice in a desert full of cacti.

7. Actions spike louder than words.

8. All succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

9. What does a cactus wear to a business meeting? A cac-tie.

10. Chicks before pricks.

11. I’m getting up to scratch.

Final Thoughts on Cactus Puns

Cacti are said to be unattractive and to bring bad luck by generating negative energy. Quite the reverse, in fact! Cacti are one of the most popular plants for home décor and attracting positive energy.

But you know what? This energy could get easily multiplied if you add up some cactus puns from the above list to bring a good vibe to your home.

Cactus and succulents must be on the top of the list of house plants that have exploded in popularity in recent years. I mean, why not? They’re tough and adorable, and they make for some rather prickly cactus puns and jokes.

So, now that we have dug up a slew of cactus puns, all the way from desserts, please take a moment to leave a comment below about your favorite cacti prick– and also if you could play with these words to generate a pun by yourself!

Have a great day ahead!

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