Lord Vegas's blog

By Ima Tuele
New York Times News Service

Army Major Nadik Hasan, the alleged shooter in the deaths of thirteen people in Ft Hood, Texas, has hired Thomas Dewey of the prestigious Washington, DC law firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe to represent him in a lawsuit against policewoman Kimberly Munley for excessive use of force.

Hasan, in stable condition in a Texas hospital has been paralyzed by the four bullets the policewoman pumped into his body. "Clearly this was a case of excessive use of force, and my client is paying a heavy price for it," said Dewey.

by Ima Tuele
New York Times News Service

In a stunning display of honesty the United States House of Representatives has voted by a count of 434 to 1 to censor censure the entire United States House of Representatives. A similar motion in the United States Senate is not expected to pass, in honor of the late Ted Kennedy.

The lone holdout in the House vote was that of Rep Ron Paul, R-TX, who made an impassioned speech on the floor of the house, pointing out that such a measure was not constitutionally appropriate.

By Ima Tuele
of the New York Times News Service

Due to the extreme popularity of the "Cash for Clunkers" auto rebate program, whereby new car buyers may obtain up to $4500 in federal government rebates by turning in older, less efficient vehicles, the president has decided to announce a new wrinkle in his Universal Healthcare proposals.

by Ima Tuele
of the New York Times

In what is being hailed as a piece of political brilliance, the Republican National Senatorial Committee has set forth a proposal that is guaranteed to return the Republican Party to commanding majorities in both houses of congress in 2010, and the election of a Republican president in 2012. RNSC Chairman John Cornyn laid out the new strategy in a press conference today, sharing the plan that he said has been decades in the making.

by Ima Tuele

of the New York Times

The White House has announced that it intends to take a leadership role in returning economic responsibility to the federal government. Challenging Congress to do the same, President Obama has announced more than $100 million in planned savings in the executive branch through the use of best practice measures.

Accordingly, presidential spokesman Andy Gibbs today announced White House plans to buy supplies from Simplyink Online, and pencils from Office Max. The supplier of pens has yet to be decided.

by Ima Tuele
of the New York Times

Burlington, VT - In what must be rated as the most disrespectful and ungrateful moments in US maritime history, freed Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama returned to American soil today, thanking everyone except the man who ordered the mission that saved his life.

Moments after the fat-cat corporate jet that returned the captain to the United States touched down on the tarmac in Burlington, surrounded by his wife and family, Phillips told reporters that he was not a hero.

"I'm not a hero, the military is," he said.

By Ima Tuele
of the New York TImes

Concern over preserving the Constitutional Rights of the lone Somali pirate not brutally murdered by the US Military in a hostage standoff that could most probably been resolved through negotiations instead of violence, has led the American Civil Liberties Union to airlift a bevy of Civil Rights Attorneys to the Gulf of Aden, in defense of freedom.

Following his miraculous saving of what appeared to be a badly fragmented G20 summit, President Obama took a few hours to travel to the village of Lourdes, in the foothills of the Pyrenees Mountains, to see the shrine where the virginal Bernadette saw the vision of The Virgin Mary in 1858.

The nation's capital was rocked yesterday when a special meeting of the President's Cabinet was interrupted by Federal Marshalls accompanied by agents of the US Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service.

Led out of the meeting in handcuffs were more than a dozen cabinet officials, including the US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. A source within the Marshall service, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity said, "Tax cheats hurt all of us. We will pursue and prosecute any and all tax cheats to the full extent of the law."

Taking advantage of alternative energy initiatives made available to states in the President's stimulus bill known as the Congressional Relief Action Program (CRAP), North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama have announced plans to harness Solar Energy as a means of snow removal during the winter months.

Tapping into federal funds made available to the states for use of alternative energy, North Carolina expects to receive $3.2 billion, Georgia is in line for $2.7 billion and Alabama is entitled to $1.9 billion.